God Gives Me What I Ask For and That’s a Problem

July 21, 2018

 

While dancing in my underwear on the deck in my backyard, I realized I have a problem: God gives me exactly what I ask for.

Now before you say that’s not a problem, let me explain.

This house has exactly what I asked for:
•its a house not an apartment
•Under $1000 for rent
•3 full bedrooms
•2 full bathrooms (both w tubs)
•a working dishwasher (absolutely non-negotiable)
•space for my work supplies
•a garage w extra space
•a backyard where my children can play
•a quiet street where my kids can ride bike
•close enough to the highways
•low chance of crime
•deer were in my backyard
•working a/c, heat, and fans
•Trees (I love trees)🌲💚🌳💚🌴
•a small stream in the backyard
•friendly neighbors
•a deck that goes somewhere (stairs to the ground)
•closet space for his clothes and my clothes
•close enough to work (his job is just 20 minutes away and 8 minutes from the kids school)
•near civilization (the mall/Publix/Walmart is like 10 minutes away)
•I can dance in my underwear on the deck in my backyard.

This is the stuff I knew to ask for.

But I’m not 100% happy with this place because:
•the front door is warped
•THERE’S NO GARBAGE DISPOSAL
• one of the showers doesn’t get enough pressure for a shower though the bath portion works fine
• I still have a gas bill (never had one in Miami)
• Snakes come out in summer
• Spiders don’t care that we live here
• I can’t sit near the stream bc of all the growth and, well, snakes
•My “office” space is too far away from the modem so no stable WiFi in it.

This house was just what I asked for— just enough. It’s not a big ask, a ridiculous ask, a Faith-required ask.

And that’s my problem— I only ask for just enough, the kind of thing I can provide with God’s help but not the kind that is out of my hands.

When I got this house, though it was a let’s-see-what-happens Faith move, I felt I deserved it, that I could handle it, that I was worthy of it. That’s in all areas of my life— love, family, career, money.

I need to dream bigger. I need to dream the kind of dream where all I can do is look up to the heavens and say, “Thank you,” because I only played a small part in making it come to pass. The kind that makes me question with gratitude, “What did I do to deserve this.”

I’ve felt that way about negative crises in my life before. Now I want to feel that way with the positive rain of blessings and abundance.

And so I need a God-sized dream. That next house, scratch that...the next estate though...🤯

Are you living your God-sized* dream or do you need to learn to dream bigger?

*Insert your own positive belief* 

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